Strain Diary ~ Chernobyl

Lately, I have been feeling very...strange. I don’t have the full language even now to describe the feeling, but I am aware of a transformation happening inside of me. Some things we can never verbalize because the message we’re receiving or process were undergoing is a spiritual one rather than a human one, and we can only verbalize in human languages.

An uncomfortable shift is underway in my physical body, my mental conditioning, and spiritual elevation. For me, it usually happens that I experience a total shift, affecting all the dimensions of my human experience, rather than one aspect at a time. While I trained for my first marathon a few years ago, I also wrote my first book, and felt a self-love so strong and exciting it was like I was in love (the addicting kind) with myself. My relationship with weed also transitioned from recreational to medicinal and spiritual during that summer. At present, I’m continuously swinging between the agony of change—the hips breaking to widen—and the joy of experiencing the new life passing through my own body and spirit, giving birth to a new version of myself...

...Today I woke up incredibly sore—my muscles were heavy everywhere from a grueling training schedule and my spirit was a little tired. My mind has been leading the way lately, keeping me up late and waking me up early, and in many ways threatening to undo the positive momentum I am cultivating for myself. I decided to take advantage of this morning’s sunshine by drenching myself in coconut oil and absorbing the sun’s energy while enjoying my morning blunt...

...I was so excited to discover this nug of Chernobyl from Ritual Cannabis that had somehow managed to escape my lighter! Usually when I find a nug from the past I save it for an absolute weed emergency or smoke it at night since the older the weed, the higher its CBN content—a compound which makes you sleepy/groggy.

This sativa-hybrid nug, however, looked much the same as I remembered it from a few months ago—an inviting green with yellow highlights, covered in crystals, and proudly sporting its outdoor sugar leaves! The smell had also lost no pungency—it was a combination of sweet, sour, and perfumey notes, where you can tell it’s that forreal, forreal dank without even smoking. The nug was slightly sticky from all the trichomes, but I used a grinder to break it down before wrapping it in a Dutch.

The sun and weed worked in tandem, on my body first, and as a result also on my spirit. Almost immediately after I started feeling this high, I noticed my soreness dissipating without even a stretch. The sun warmed my exterior and the weed worked on my muscles through the interior. Tying my sun worship/melanin activation to my blunt ritual made the moment special spiritually as well—ancient messages settled into my skin as I released internal stress and doubts with my smoke, choosing instead in each moment faith and perseverance. Mentally, this strain fosters a calm, euphoric haze perfect for being gentle with reflections and allowing thoughts to pass without judgement, though I was definitely spacey in the grocery store after! Below are some affirmations & reminders to myself that came from this moment of active reflection.

Chernobyl Sun Meditations…

*Invest my time and energy wisely immediately, the decisions I make now will have lasting impact on mine and others’ futures.

*Be conscious in each moment of the choices I am making. What actions do I repeatedly choose and mistake as my nature or fate?

*I challenge myself to do one “annoying” thing that I always put off per day—sticking to my cleaning schedule, making a long overdue phone call, paying a bill, holding chair pose ( one of my least favorite) for the full breath cue etc.

*Breaking habits and creating new ones comes from the accumulation of individual acts, so every little thing IS important at this stage.

*Pay attention to my body’s hints and RESPECT THEM ALL.

I invite you to try on these themes for yourself in your own form of self-reflection, self-appreciation, and self-encouragement. If you’re also going through it, keep going bitch!

~ Kenya Ku$h ~